My Fear Exactly

Well, we're not even two months into this going back to work - and blogging - thing, and already my fear has come true ... I don't have enough time for you.  We'll define "you" from the previous sentence as my blog because my deep-rooted mommy guilt just can't handle thinking that "you" is defined as my son.  Work has gotten busy - too busy - and life has gotten busy, and all the sudden I've seen little of you.  It's been a week since I posted on the blog, and I've missed my son dearly for at least that long.  It's not that I haven't seen my baby or taken care of him, but it's amazing the way that work stress and less sleep affect your interactions and time with your child long after you leave the office.  

I have no resolution for my current situation, and I know it will always be a struggle of a working mom.  So this is just my (sad) documentation of what I knew was an inevitable situation, and let me be the first to tell you that it sucks (but don't say that phrase, son; it's really unbecoming).

I love you.  I miss you.  That kills me.

Your Mommy

You're so vain!

My Beautiful Son,


You're so vain!  No one could blame you because you are absolutely adorable, but you do love to look at yourself.  I believe most babies are like you, but it still cracks your daddy and me up how much you love to look in the mirror.  You also love to look at yourself on FaceTime, much to your grandparents' dismay at times when you look at yourself rather than at them on the screen.  You're so cute and so funny ... and so vain!


All my love,
Your Mommy

Have Brain, Will Travel

My Traveling Son,

We've previously discussed that you will travel, so now let's discuss how to travel.  I thought at first I would create a list of the top 5 or 10 rules for travel but then decided I couldn't stop at 5 or 10 or maybe not even 20, so let's leave it at use your brain, be conscientious of others and "make good choices" (as your grandmother would say).  It doesn't take a lot to be a good traveler, but it does require you to not cease utilizing your brain power and still take others into consideration.  

These techniques can be seen employed altogether in your skills at maneuvering through airport security.  First, don't pack things that are not allowed through security (using your brain to follow the rules, making choices that fit within those rules and therefore being conscientious of others by not holding up the line with your impermissible items).  Second, remove all items required from your person and/or your bag, as applicable (same rules applied as before).  Third, wait your turn!  Whether this be for the ID checker, to put your bags and bins on the conveyor belt or whatever else, everyone in the airport security line has somewhere to be that is equally as important to them as your destination is to you, so be conscientious of others and follow the common (though all too often uncommon) sense rules and wait your turn.

So that's my one soapbox example of how to use your brain, be conscientious of others and make good choices while traveling that will result in you, my son, being a good traveler and a good person in general.

Bon voyage,

Your doting Mommy

P.S. Kudos to Mommy for spelling conscientious correctly on the first try!

Roly-Poly

My Roly-Poly,

 

It might have taken you 6.75 months to figure out how to roll from back to tummy, but the roll itself takes only about 1.25 seconds!  You have mastered this roll, and we're so proud of you.  And you are so proud of yourself ... right up until you recognize that this means you're on your tummy, which you (still) hate.  And while you learned very early on how to roll from tummy to back (likely based on said hatred), you're not as inclined to show off those skills as you are the back-to-tummy roll - quite a conundrum, precious boy!  Each morning since last Saturday we have found you on your tummy in your crib pleading for us to come rescue you, and we have to laugh and comment how cute you are before we save you from the awfulness that is tummy time.  Now things will start to get extremely interesting when you learn to put the two rolls together for the steamroll - fun times ahead!

 

Roll on,

Your Mommy

Just a Swingin'

My Precious Son,

 

At 6.5 months, you still LOVE your swing.  I never knew we'd be so blessed.  Neither did I realize before you were born what a blessing the swing could be.  You love the movement and always have, but now it's more than that.  Between the rhythmic noise of the swinging, the music, the mobile and your beloved mirror, you are entranced.  Sometimes you take cat-naps in the swing and sometimes you like to just have quiet time, but if you're not sleeping you definitely prefer to have someone in the room with you.  Sometimes you stare outside and watch the birds.  But either way, you definitely still love the swing, and that is super helpful for the Mommy.

 

Swing on, baby!

Your Mommy

 

Why must you cry?

Dear Son,

 

You currently have two "mornings" - one around 6ish and a second around 8ish.  At 6ish you wake, nurse and go straight back to sleep for another hour and a half or so.  Then you get up "for real" around 8ish to nurse again and begin your day.  This wouldn't work for everyone, but I quite like it as it gives me two times with you in the morning before I head to work.  However, each morning, during your first morning, I lift you out of the crib and place you on the changing table because you've been in your diaper all night long ... and you cry.  Sometimes it's just a fuss but sometimes there are tears - all because I'm changing your diaper just before feeding you.  We do this every morning, in this exact order, but yet every morning you cry.  It makes Mommy sad that you essentially wake up crying each day (though never for your second, "real" morning), but if I don't change your diaper then, there will be an accident - trust me, we've tried.  So I'll ask the question again, why must you cry?

 

With love,

Your Mommy

The First Month

My Sweet Baby,


It has officially been four weeks, one month, since I went back to work.  I'm not really sure how to summarize this first month - some things have been hard and some have been kind of easier than I first thought.  I definitely miss you during the day and as the week goes on, it's harder to leave each morning.  But I know you're well taken care of and loved and happy, and I do enjoy that during my time with you it's much more about just you and me.  I still struggle and think that I always will, but I'd say overall it was  a fairly good first month.


All my love,
Your Mommy

Stripes

My Adorable Son,


Notwithstanding the fact that stripes are all the nautical rage for this spring, I love, love you in stripes!  You have a new pair of PJs with blue and green stripes, and I love you in them.  We had to retire one pair of precious stripey PJs, so I'm so happy to finally have a replacement.  I hope you'll continue to wear stripes long after I cease dressing you, but for now it's my choice, and you're in stripes!


Dotingly,
Your Mommy

The good, the bad and the truly wonderful

My Dear Son,


Today was a day of huge highs and lows.  To keep a very long (and emotional and complicated) story short, here are the basics:


The Good - You cut your first tooth!


The Bad - While I was at work...


The Truly Wonderful - You ate your first solids!


Mommy thought you were about to cut the first tooth with how off you've been feeling lately and the fact that you haven't slept at all in the last couple of nights.  I'm so excited for you and how you're growing up.  However, it was very hard for Mommy emotionally that she was not there when it actually appeared and to find it.  Just one of the struggles ...


Then tonight, Daddy and I took you to dinner at one of our local favorite places.  We were planning on starting solids this weekend, and I had in my plans to do it with the camera, video camera and both of us present at home.  We were still trying to decide whether to do traditional purees or more of the baby-led weaning.  But tonight, it just felt right.  We didn't even have the camera with us.  But it was such a fun night and a fun memory for your Daddy and me - so special for the three of us as a family.  And in case you're curious - your first foods were Tony's rolls and a mushroom, and you ate both like a champ!  I'm so proud of you.  It was a truly wonderful, unsuspecting Friday night.


Your biggest fan,
Your Mommy

STTN

My Good Sleeper Son,


I love what a good sleeper you are and the fact that you are Sleeping Through the Night (STTN - I'm so hip with my Mommy acronym =).  However, I'm afraid I cursed myself.  Back a couple of weeks ago, I said something about how I missed your middle of the night feedings.  Well you very sweetly decided to bring them back.  I know it's just a phase and part of me does love that little extra time with you, but this working mama's t-i-r-e-d.  So off to bed for you and for me, and hopefully we'll get back on track soon.


Sweet dreams,
Your Mommy

French cuffs

My Dapper Son,


Mommy is quite fond of the French cuffs and cufflinks, and I hope you will be too.  It's a very chic statesman type look, though now that I read that back that statement in and of itself might dissuade you from wanting to wear them.  Daddy wears them and has at least a couple of pairs of cufflinks to pass down to you, which I also think is very special since there isn't really much jewelry for a daddy to pass on to his son.  


Happy dressing,
Your Mommy

Pillow Talk

My Son,


One of the greatest Venus/Mars Debates (of the first world variety) is the age-old battle over throw pillows.  I know - critical things we're discussing here today on Sentences to My Son.  Women love them.  Men hate them.  Or so they say . . . as men certainly appreciate lying their heads on those throw pillows on the couch while watching the game or a movie and definitely take advantage of those extra shams on the bed to prop them up while eating dessert or working on the computer.  The debate really seems to get heated when a tired hubby is heading to bed only to be greeted by a mattress full of throw pillows.  How many is "full"?  How many is too many?  The world may never know.  But I suggest there is, and that you find, a happy medium - this will result in a happy wife, a pretty bed and a comfortable couch.


Sleep well,
Your Mommy

Pleased to meet you

Dearest Son,


Today, a very important topic - one that speaks to your first impression, etiquette, branding and quite frankly just how well you fit in - a good, firm handshake.  I recall being "taught" for the first time in high school how to shake someone's hand.  I thought the whole concept of teaching this was ridiculous right up to the moment the teacher sent us loose in the classroom to practice ... good night there were a lot of people who had no idea how to shake hands, at least not well!  I took it for granted that I had been raised properly shaking hands, and your daddy and I will certainly teach you as well because there's nothing I dislike more in first meeting someone than a wimpy, meek handshake.  Though I must say with the grip you've got going at this age, you're already headed down the right path!


Love,
Your Mommy

Roses are Red

Darling Son,


Let's talk flowers.  You see it's been 5 days since Valentine's Day, which is roughly the lifespan of most cut floral arrangements (if they're well cared for during such days), so there are a lot of dead flowers hanging around right now.  This fact is precisely my issue with them.  They are beautiful.  Many smell great.  They brighten up a room and make you smile (well, at least girls; I can't really confirm if they make boys smile).  But they die.  And they cost a lot of money.  So ... choose wisely.  Remember that flowers are not the only way to show your love, though they are a sweet one.  Be creative when you do buy them and pick a good vase.  And you can't ever go wrong with cymbidium orchids.


Hugs and Kisses,
Your Mommy

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Dearest Son,


Sure we all love Christmas and the holiday season, but it could be argued that this season is the most wonderful time of the year ... because it's Girl Scout Cookie Season.  It's actually possible that Girl Scout Cookies could be the secret to world peace.  Seriously who can resist smiling after a box of frozen Thin Mints?  Girl Scout Cookies will cure most ailments and raise your spirits on even the dreariest of days.  I'm sure in your hey-day you will cost me another mortgage payment in Girl Scout Cookie consumption, but I guess that's the reason that it's just a season and not all year long!


Happy Cookie Eating,
Your Mommy

Sickly

My dear son,


It is painfully awful to see you sick - made worse only by being sick myself and therefore having less energy and stamina to help you get better.  And while I'd rather not see you sick at all, I must admit that I love the way you want your momma while you're sick.  I hope you always will.  Even as a grown woman and a mother myself, there's still a part of me that yearns for my own mother while sick - to cook me soup and bring me OJ and ginger ale and most of all rub my feet.  I hope I can be that same sort of comfort for you when you're sick, now and forever.


Get well soon,
Your Mommy

The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

Dearest Son,


A computer will undoubtedly be a part of your daily life (try as I might to avoid it while you are young), but my advice for today is to make sure to learn to type.  And I mean really learn to type - with all your fingers and without looking, etc.  It's extremely useful in school work and certainly your "real job" later in life.  Coming from a time when as a kid most people did not have computers at home, I learned later in school through many timed tests of the aforementioned sentence.  I hope they still teach you this in school, and if not, Mommy will.


All my love,
Your Mommy

Mommy's Kisses

My Sweet Son,


Right now, it matters not to you that I kiss you.  In fact, you love it.  You open your mouth to "kiss" me back, you laugh heartily when I kiss under your chin or blow raspberries on your belly.  And you "kiss" me whenever your face is close to mine.  It warms Mommy's heart and makes me swell with pride - pride in the fact that you love me and in this outward expression of that love.  So know as you grow and no longer find Mommy's kisses so cool that they continue to be the expression of my deep, unconditional love for you, My Son.


Gros bisous,
Your Mommy

Jump Around

My Active Son,


You LOVE to jump.  I cannot express this strongly enough.  You LOVE it.  And I love to watch you - your pure delight and joy at this simple motion.  I love that it's making you stronger and more coordinated.  I love that it's teaching you your own strength, independence and to play on your own.  It's so much fun to watch you during this short period of your life, but I know this will be the first of many passions and athletic pursuits, and so in that way, it's a fun premonition of what's to come in your life.


Love,
Your doting mother

Discovery Central

Dear Curious Son,


It is so precious to watch you play and discover new things - super exciting things like your hands, your feet, your zipper on your jacket, the toys on your car seat and Jumperoo, the fact that your seat in your exersaucer turns, your tongue (as aforementioned) - just all sorts of things.  I hope this enjoyment with discovering new things does not end with your infancy.  I hope you retain this curious, inquisitive nature and your delight with discovery.


Abrazos,
Your Mommy

Those Smelly Roses

My Son,


Nothing matters more than this day.  And by this I don't mean literally this February 2, 2012, I mean whatever the then-current day is.  Because no one is guaranteed another day, and time truly does fly - whether you're having fun or not.  So do try to live for the day and enjoy the day you're in.  We certainly enjoy you daily and the copious changes that each stage, and sometimes each day, brings.  So take the time to smell the proverbial roses and don't take time for granted.


With love,
Your Mommy

Multilingual

Caro hijo,

Along with our desire for you to travel and appreciate other cultures, we greatly desire that you learn other languages - yes, that's plural.  Your nanny is a native Spanish speaker, which along with speaking Spanish in the house I hope will make you fluent in Spanish.  And we'd love for you to expound upon that and learn some other languages - we're open as to which other language(s), just want you to be multilingual.

Besos y abrazos,
Your Mommy

Neat-nick

Dear Son,


I hope you are a neat-nick, not to the obsessive compulsive degree, but that you like to keep things nice and tidy.  If you are, you are that way in spite of your parents.  We try hard to keep a clean and organized house, we try even harder now with you around, and while it's easy to do in your room and with your things, there are still areas of the house (don't get me started on the closets and under the beds) that need some extra TLC in the tidiness category.  Trust me that your days run smoother if you keep things clean and you don't suffer from CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome).


Love,
Your Not-so-neat Mommy

The Nanny

My dear son,


We are blessed to have a nanny to take care of you while Mommy and Daddy are at work.  A nanny was the best decision for our family and for our work schedules, even with me working a reduced schedule, and we really like our nanny.  However, my darling son, please don't like the nanny more than me.  Some people try to calm my fears and tell me that this is not possible, but for this new mamma it's a real-life concern and the thought hurts my heart.  So bear with my (possibly irrational) fears and please don't like the nanny more than me.


My undying love,
Your Mommy

Picky, picky, picky

Darling Son,


Please, please don't be a picky eater.  Take it from your mommy who used to be one - life is much more enjoyable when you are not a picky eater.  There are so many wonderful tastes and textures and flavors and combinations - it's so important to be open to trying new things, to enjoying new and exotic things.  I assure you that your daddy and I will do everything we can in your infancy and toddlerhood to appropriately expose you to all sorts of delicious foods, but I truly hope you take from those experiences a deep appreciation for all types of cuisine and a sense of adventure when it comes to food.  


Deliciously yours,
Your Mommy

La lengua

Precious Son,


You have THE cutest tongue EVER!  Seriously - it's adorable, and you've really found it lately and love to show your cute tongue in the most precious ways.  I've seen a lot of babies and a lot of babies' tongues, and none are as cute as yours.  Now I do not have another child of my own to compare, so we'll revisit this statement once you have a baby brother or sister, but I feel I confident that I will stand firm on my position that you have the cutest tongue ever.  I'm sure your eighteen-year-old self will be so proud!


With love,
Your Mommy

Handyman

My Young Son,


Become handy.  I highly recommend it.  Clearly I am a girl, so being handy is not quite the prerequisite for me that it is for you, but not all men are handy either.  And life is just a lot easier (and cheaper) if you're handy.  So we will encourage you to do handy things and learn from your father, your grandfathers and, to the extent I'm able to teach you anything of worth, me too.


Love,
Your Mommy

Bon Voyage

Dear Son,


Riddle me this: I want desperately for you to see the world, experience and appreciate other cultures, learn other languages, try new things, be adventurous, etc.  However, the kids I knew growing up who were well traveled were spoiled brats, or at least silver-spoon-in-their-mouths rich kids.  So how do I take you places without spoiling you rotten?  We'll leave that as a rhetorical question.


Bon voyage,
Your Mommy

Sleeping through the night

My Good Sleeper Son,


New parents are sleep-deprived, even if they don't realize it in the moment, just look at those pictures from the first few weeks (or months or years, depending on the child), and it's obvious.  But here's the curious thing ... in going back to work, I really - like really, really - miss your middle-of-the-night nursing.  I miss that quiet time alone with just the two of us, your sweet, little hand grasping my finger and your glances up at me and coos indicating your sublime happiness (never mind that you're just happy you got what you wanted - to feed in the middle of the night while the rest of the world is cozy and dreaming in their beds) and my blissful smile back down at you, silently agreeing that this is a happy moment while I ignore how tired, and potentially grumpy, this hour-long sleep hiatus will make me tomorrow.  Therefore, all of these really long sentences to say that I actually miss your crying rousing me from my slumber at 2:00 a.m. (Try explaining that to the mother of a 3-week-old!)


Sweet dreams,
Your Mommy

Mommy loves you.

My son,

I love you.  I realize this is a basic sentence, spoken all too often and used to express many a feeling.  However, when I tell you I love you, I love you in a way you cannot understand until you have a child of your own.  I always hated that phrase, that concept, before I had you.  But now that you're here, I know that all those people who said that you, this tiny being, would change my life forever and cause me to love in a way I couldn't possibly understand previously - those crazy nuts were right.  I love you in a way I have never loved anyone else, not even Daddy.  I choose to love Daddy, and I love him dearly.  I have to love you - not because anyone is forcing me but because you are a part of me.  That old quote about how having children is living with your heart outside your body ... check!  And while you are only a few months old, I already am excited for the day when you will truly understand what I mean when I say "I love you."

My undying love,
Your Mommy

My D-Day*

Dear Son,

In a few short days, I go back to work. In a few short days, I do the hardest thing I've done in months (you know, since that whole labor and delivery part of things) - I will walk out that door and leave you behind ... in extremely capable hands but not my hands. And typing those words hurts my heart, but I know this is the right thing right now.  And thus, in consideration of the fact that I will not be by your side 24/7 (which I know is exactly what you wanted - well, you might actually want that right now but probably not so much from say age 6 on), I write this blog to you, these sentences - of love, of observation, of learning, of wisdom (I hope), of thoughts, of hopes, of exasperation, of questions, of sharing, of encouragement, of perspective, of words ... words from me to you.

All my love,

Your Mommy

*Side-bar: As this blog is all about things I want you, my son, to know and observe and experience, and high on that list is an appreciation for history, I feel a bit guilty flippantly throwing around the phrase "D-Day" to signify the day I go back to work, as my going back to work clearly pales in comparison to the sacrifices that were made on June 6, 1944 in Normandy. Alas, this is the common use of the phrase and is an appropriate moniker for this day in my life, albeit trivial in the grand scheme of things.